Quick post before bed

Me: *waits for pills to kick in so I can sleep*
Chess: I am a nocturnal animal. Play with me.
Me: Huhwhat?
Chess: Play with me.
Me: Chess, I am tired. I am cranky. I want to sleep so that I can not bite my doctor's head off in the morning.
Chess: You don't seem to understand. PLAY WITH ME.
Me: But I--
Chess: PLAY. WITH. ME!
Me: Fine, I'll throw a toy so you can do half of a chase game.
Chess: Don't wanna chase. Wanna hunt the red mouse.
Me: Look! Toy! *toss*
Chess: Not the red mouse. Play! With! Me!
Me: Stop yelling at me, you walking place mat!
Chess: RED MOUSE!
Me: But I--
Chess: RED! MOUSE!
Me: You're going to keep yelling at me, aren't you?
Chess: I will make the blender sound if you do not play with me!
Me: You weigh nineteen times less than I do. Why are you ordering me around? *grabs laser pointer*
Chess: RED MOUSE! I SHALL KILL YOU DEAD! *plays*
Me: *dutifully plays with the cat using the laser*
Chess: MIGHTY POUNCE! *pounce* MIGHTY CHASE! *chase* MIGHTY KILL!
Dimitri: Can I play?
Chess: No!
Dimitri: *bats at laser dot* *notices Chess* *stops*
Me: Let your brother play.
Chess: Mouse is mine. *chases in circle*
Me: *hand cramps mightily* I am putting down the mouse.
Chess: No! Don't! I haven't killed it dead yet!
Me: Chess, I am tired. I am cranky. And now my hand hurts. I am turning off the damned mouse.
Chess: You suck!
Me: Yeah, you're life's so hard. You sleep all day in a nice warm house, there's food all the time, clean water, toys, and a complete marshmallow who plays with you whenever you peep at me.
Chess: I'm gonna call the Speeay! They gonna speeay you!
Me: That's the SPCA and, sadly, they don't do work on humans. I am going to bed, furry child.
Chess: I'm mad at you! I'm not gonna sleep on you tonight!
Me: But break my heart, for I must hold my tongue.