Chess: I am a mighty hunter!
Me: Is that my tie?
Chess: I break you neck, snake-thing! *shakes head with tie in mouth*
Me: My tie is not a toy.
Chess: You are dead, so I shall run off with you! *runs into the bedroom with tie*
Me: *follows*
Chess: *changes her mind half way through and runs back into the living room*
Me: Can I have my tie back?
Chess: Snake-thing is dead!
Me: Please?
Chess: Dead!
Me: *starts to pick up tie*
Chess: HOSHIT! Snake-thing is alive again and attacking Daddy! I shall save you! *pounce*
Me: That's my foot.
Chess: Don't worry, Daddy, I'll keep you safe. *bite*
Me: ...ow.
Chess: *grabs tie and tries to run off again*
Me: I'm not letting go.
Chess: Safe! *tug*
Me: *sigh* Well, it's a fairly cheap tie, anyway. *lets go*
Chess: It's dead again! *walks off*
Me: Right. *hangs up tie*

So, I got The Wife this for VD Day. (The heartwarming version.) We exchanged gifties on Friday. The box has been sitting on the table since.

Chess found it. Seeing her run around with the sperm or mono hanging out of her mouth is about the cutest thing I've seen in ages. I shall endeavor to catch her in a picture, but don't hold your breath because as soon as she sees me with the camera she drops it.

Guest Post By The Wife

Just fished from under one of the kitchen bookshelves:

1 dental cat treat
2 fur mice
1 goblin mini

I love cats.